The Classic Fair Experience

I hit 60. WOOT! Chanel's gift to me was a trip the Western Idaho Fair. Hadn't been for years and was looking forward to chowing down the midway. You just can't beat the sheer geographic density of coronary-clogging goodies at a fair So here's how it went. 1. We pulled into the back 40 parking lot, hopped out and inhaled. Oh, the aroma of deep fryers and grease! Lovely. It hung lower than smoke over Sun Valley. No wonder people walked at a good clip from the back 40, to the middle 40, to the front 40 acres of parking. 2. Through the gates, stopped at the Idaho Statesman booth for the food coupon book, tore out our favorites and off...... 3. But first a detour through the exhibition buildings. I loved all the quilts and stitchery. Loved the food displays. Loved the photography. Loved looking at the paintings with Kevin not around. (He takes hours and appreciates them all.) Chanel & I took minutes, picked our favorites and then hustled to the commercial booths. Favorite: Remember the 60's when you could lose your fat via vibrating belt machines? Well now we have platforms. Stand on the platform, hang onto the handy rail, flip the On switch and ta da! Your booty fairly shakes itself. You don't have to move a muscle or break a sweat. It just made me laugh and I would have laughed harder had I known what the salesmen were charging (and guaranteeing) for such a machine. Well, we successfully negotiated all aisles and all salesmen and left the building with nary one business card, brochure, or flyer. I also kept it a big secret from the 20 or so cell phone booths that I'm still the only woman in America without one. Imagine the feeding frenzy. 4. On to the petting zoo. I must say those were some pretty docile Texas Longhorns whose noggins I was scratching. 5. And then the MIDWAY. I got the footlong corndog, slathered in mustard. Chanel, a cup of Churros. 6. We settled in to watch Lady Houdini hold her breath in a tank of water long enough to shuck locks and locks and locks. What a set of lungs! Her male partner (husband?) bragged it was her 1099th escape from death. His contribution to the act was to flinch & gasp at choreographed intervals + fish the locks,locks,locks out of the tank via magnet afterward. I also noticed he flirted with blondes on the side. We also watched the Black Street Boys because cheesy acts are all part of the fair experience. 7. By now the sun had set, the temperature cooled, and the crowds exploded. It was full time jostling to work our way to Carnival Land and stand in the long line for the Ferris Wheel. Having no tatoos to show the world, I felt quite out of place. And no one to make-out with. Just me and Chanel, two conservative little ladies in the the Drinking, Happy, Kissy crowd. What a relief to get our own wheel bucket and rise about it all. Turns out Chanel likes Ferris Wheels; doesn't like swinging the bucket in Ferris Wheels. 8. Thank you Idaho Statesman for including a Delsa's Ice Cream coupon in your book. The strawberry shortcake was the best and totally topped off the evening. 9. Biggest disappointment: Not being very hungry after that corndog. My brain wanted the gyro sandwiches, the Idaho Pizza breadsticks, and the baked potato ice cream, the pulled pork bbq, the elephant ears, the Navajo bread, and the 1 pound of french fries. Had to settle for mere inhaling and rolling out of there at midnight. 10. As we left, I said to Chanel, "Isn't this just like leaving Disneyland at the end of day? So sad, such a letdown. After months of saving and anticipating? Then it's overwith?" Nah--We went back to her apartment and watch 2 1/2hrs of Les Mis. Life is always a party with Chanel.